I swear I'm going to focus on what my plans are for the future right when I finish this post. And after I work out a little bit. At 1:30 in the morning. It's cool. I've only had four hours of sleep. But it's okay because this whole month of March I have no tests. But then the first week of April I have three tests to worry about. I know that's going to screw me over but really I'm feeling fine right now at least. Anyway, this Friday I literally traversed all over my college town just hanging out with people. Going to a documentary thing with some people, touring a nifty recycling center, attending a few birthday shindigs that night, and then staying awake until six in the morning watching scary movies and hanging out even more. Then waking up at nine in the morning to tow my sorry manvan to Houston to get fixed up. Sad. But here I am in Houston, here doing Spring cleaning with the parents and celebrating my dad's birthday. Sure I'm exhausted but really I don't regret it too much. Being here with them really does do me good since they make me confront what I have to do for the future instead of my alternatives of not doing anything at all and silently panicking about them. Really. That is what I do with my future plans and partly why my graduate application is still very much unfinished. However, now that I've talked some plans over with my parents now I actually have to do them. Starting now. Fantastic.
My whole Friday night was really interesting because I managed to do everything that I was hoping to do. I mean, going to two birthday parties, a scary movie night and other stuff all without a car? I think that's impressive. I know I told myself to really choose which things deserve my time the most but really I think this time was alright even though I know I missed some good things from splitting up my time. The one birthday party I went to was just a slopfest with beer pong going and people smoking all over the house. Yuck. What was interesting was that I was dressed kind of nice and I was riding with some friends and one pretty girl who I hadn't met before. She was cute and all the while I was wondering if maybe I could talk to her more and see what would happen. For a while I thought she might have been into me. I even thought that maybe she whispered to her friend that she thought I was hot. That really made my night. That being true or not, I instantly became extremely awkward talking to her. WOMP WOMP. There was actually another guy talking to her that was much more charismatic and I was just a tad bit jealous. Fortunately for me the pretty girl pre-gamed too much with tequila so I was lucky enough to find out my awkward attempts to woo her weren't the end of the world. She ended up passing out on the ride back home. Haha, that's college romance for you. So sure, I'm not straight but when did I start liking girls? There were a bunch of gay guys at the same party too. The birthday girl at the party apparently has a bunch of gay friends, who I found out really loves having her boobs fondled by these gay men. And when I say fondled, I mean clamping on the nipples and groping actions being done. Still, everyone was pretty drunk here so no harm done? There was this one gay guy who was in the military and was showing off his tattoos that I thought was just so hot. On one hand, he was a soldier, is a red head, and had a sexy red beard. On the other hand, he was kind of short and his mannerisms and voice really gave away the fact that he prefers penis. But really I did not mind at all because if I fazed out his voice and just saw him standing in a room, I really was tempted to go make out with him. I think it's just because he was a red head. Seriously.
On another note, I've decided to maybe start doing things with Red. I mean, I've been whining about him forever and really, I think I'm just kind of ready to do something and just feel something. Am I doing the right thing? I know I want to save what I got for someone special, but really just cuddling up and making out with someone is what I really kind of want right now with somebody I can find attractive and promising I guess. It just seems like the signs in my life just point to why not? And if everything turns out to be a huge and terrible plane crash, I'll be okay, because I'm young and I just got to get out there right? I just hope I don't re-read this post in the future and say, "Damn you past self, you've screwed me over once again!" because really, I do that to myself way too often as it is.
-C.C.
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