Just a small tangent, I'm starting this post at 4:20. Hahaha. Marijuana reference. But really though, I have exciting news since I just finished my graduate application! YES! Too bad I relapsed on the whole lent and extraneous internet including porn thing. I mean, I was going great for a week or two but really I just folded. I shouldn't have done it though, because I don't know what happened but immediately afterwards I just felt really lonely. I think I'm just in one of those moods again, although I've never gone back down to those awful times when I literally felt like I was going through psychological depression. Today was really lax since I came to class late but then had a long lunch with friends and then just went to another class which ended for the semester. Since that class has ended, it really feels as if this semester has started it's inevitable end going at a full throttle pace. At the same time, I still need to order my cap and gown, diploma frame, etc. Crazy huh? Too bad I'm bad with deadlines so I guess that won't be happening! Haha, my mom is gonna be pissed. In reality, in the past few weeks, I've really dealt with all of this in a nonchalant fashion because I am really ready to move on. A part of me is really tired of being an undergraduate now. Sure I have more school ahead of me, but I'm ready for that next chapter. In general, I'm ready to just grow up. It's a strange and kind of nice feeling. I'm very uncertain what I'll be doing in a year, but at the same time, I think I'll be alright. In other news, I have been vegetarian-ish for two days! Not including bacon bits on my salad or actually eating chicken that one time but I'm not going to nick pick details. I would like to try this thing out, but I'm insanely hungry all the time. Also, I've been doing some thinking and I really think I may be slowly inching toward that phase where I want to just get off with someone and then do my thing. I don't know, I'm not really thrilled about it but at the same time I do want to get out there. I think starting with a healthy relationship would be good at least. But really, I need to go to sleep. I have a class to go to that I honestly don't care about and will be tempted to sleep through. That dilemma will be saved for my future self.
-C.C.
