I feel like I need to take better care of this blog. But anyway, life is kinda blah for me lately. What I mean is that for some reason. I REALLY think I'm gonna die alone. Haha, now I say that jokingly but I still can't shake off that feeling.....
Maybe it's just because I'm stuck at home while everyone else is enjoying their spring break in a much more exciting way. I'm literally stalking people on facebook 24/7!!! Dear lord!!!!
I also think I'm a bad friend.... :((((((((
I think I haven't made the connections that I wanted to have with others and that those connections aren't gonna last after I leave college...But i doesn't bother me so much anymore...
In addition, I don't really know what I was thinking with the last post but now I'm just really embarassed.
I think the most interesting thing that happened to me this spring break was that I found out someone I had class with is gay. It was crazy. I was actually really happy that I found that out. Not because I can get some or something, wow. Stupid. But because I actually know someone that is in the closet like me. I know who they are and what they're like kind of. It was relieving to know. Actually, my mind did start racing around thinking about how I should talk to him somehow and just get things started. I kept thinking about it for a long time thinking "WOOO let's shack up or sumthin!!" But I think that was more due to the fact that I guess I just want to be loved so badly and to be in a relationship so badly. It's kinda crazy. Not that I would succeed anyway. I have no moves and I get so awkward....I got no balls when it comes to love anyway....
Anyway, I found out because I recently registered for ManHunt and Adam4Adam and saw him there but truthfully I think this is a low point in my life. I REALLY need to get off the computer now. I REALLY do. But I am glad I found out about that guy. It made me feel better for some reason.
Peace out computer. Time to do something productive. Mah god. Also, this laptop has reached maximum suckage. I tried to fix it on my own but then I made it worse. So.....Ima gonna go and spend $$$ that I was trying to avoid for about a year now.....
Also, being back home made me realize that I do want to be a doctor a lot more than I realized. A lot more motivation than I realized. Good. Good for me.
Sometimes, I'm glad I have this blog. I don't have to worry about what I say or to whom. It helps.
