Sunday, June 26, 2011

Twenty One

Yep. It's here. I'm twenty one!!! Today is officially my birthday. It really feels good. Nothing has changed perhaps, but I think that it's gonna be a pretty god-durn good year. I'll try and make it the best year I've ever had. We'll see what happens. Wow. It's just so strange, but I think things are gonna be looking up I'm sure.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The First Father's Day

Seeing my parents gets me so emotional these days. Especially Hallmark originated pseudo-holidays like this one that make me evaluate their significance in my life. Probably because I don't have my grandparents living next to me anymore and that their age seems to show so conspicuously now. It's a little bit scary but more than anything it makes me sad. Like every moment is a moment that I will never have again. I feel sometimes like I'm grasping at straws. I'm moving on with my life and starting new things, but at the same time I feel like I'll be leaving behind my parents. So, in the process, I'll be effectively missing out on them. It's just an emotional rush every time that I don't know what to do. There's nothing wrong with them medically, and yet I can't help feeling like they might disappear any day now. But deep down I know that maybe all that I'm feeling is justified. Just maybe.

We watched a video of my grandpa's seventieth birthday. It was really wonderful seeing everyone happy and looking so much younger and different. Seeing baby me spit up on himself a few times wasn't very cute though. It was great to see a throwback to the old days and remember my grandparents still going strong. And then it hit me. This was the first father's day that I wouldn't have a grandpa to celebrate with. And it was the first father's day that my mom didn't have her father to celebrate with. Strange...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Weird...

It's summer...so I should be happy...but why does it feel so lonely? Oh well I guess...