An Update

So the guy messaged me again today and apologized for "being so vulgar". I thought that was nice. I was wondering where that nice guy part of him went and if he always had this horny bastard side of him. But then again I can't judge. I'd probably be the same if I wasn't such a wimp. Honestly though...I was looking forward to fooling around with him and now maybe it'll be awkward since he'll want to be more cautious if we ever do meet up? I dunno, I just want to throw away all that stay classy stuff right now and just make out with him hardcore. When he apologized I assured him it wasn't a big deal and then offered...a cuddle date. Wow. I might like men but that is cringe-worthy. I just am really not socially gifted am I? I don't know. I'm at that weird stage where I'm really horned up thinking about fooling around with that boy but not in the mood at all to look at some porn and get it over with.
    By the way, I feel like I should elaborate that he's not what you'd call a stud but he's cute and him being a redhead pushes all the right buttons for me. He seems like a regular friendly guy. He had cerebral palsy as a kid and had experimental surgery as a child so now he's fine and healthy but he suffers from spasms every so often. Some people might not like that but I think it's kind of cute. By the way, I don't really think we click that well. I'm just saying. We get along, but we exchange niceties and then he usually leaves the conversation politely since we don't really have much else to talk about. Also, I'm notoriously awkward at conversation. I had thought I'd be much more adept by now but it seems I am still glaringly lacking. So, even if we do have this...cuddle date (Ugh, let me go work out after this so I don't implode from embarrassment) I think whatever we might have will die down pretty quickly. Will it get awkward? I'm afraid it will. By the looks of it...maybe I won't get laid after all. Whatever, I still need to go work out so I'm not so doughy. I actually still want to fool around in that model bedroom though, so if nothing else goes right in my life, I can tell that to rando's who'll pay me mind and think I'm interesting. Fantastic.

-C.C.