The First Father's Day

Seeing my parents gets me so emotional these days. Especially Hallmark originated pseudo-holidays like this one that make me evaluate their significance in my life. Probably because I don't have my grandparents living next to me anymore and that their age seems to show so conspicuously now. It's a little bit scary but more than anything it makes me sad. Like every moment is a moment that I will never have again. I feel sometimes like I'm grasping at straws. I'm moving on with my life and starting new things, but at the same time I feel like I'll be leaving behind my parents. So, in the process, I'll be effectively missing out on them. It's just an emotional rush every time that I don't know what to do. There's nothing wrong with them medically, and yet I can't help feeling like they might disappear any day now. But deep down I know that maybe all that I'm feeling is justified. Just maybe.

We watched a video of my grandpa's seventieth birthday. It was really wonderful seeing everyone happy and looking so much younger and different. Seeing baby me spit up on himself a few times wasn't very cute though. It was great to see a throwback to the old days and remember my grandparents still going strong. And then it hit me. This was the first father's day that I wouldn't have a grandpa to celebrate with. And it was the first father's day that my mom didn't have her father to celebrate with. Strange...

Weird...

It's summer...so I should be happy...but why does it feel so lonely? Oh well I guess...

Milestones

So Osama Bin Laden is dead. Thought I would put this here as a sort of milestone to really just document it. I'm not really that happy about it like everyone else is though. I mean, we're still at war and there are still SO many problems left to solve.

Also, I still have to take my biochemistry final. Geez. At any rate...for some reason I'm so pissed by all the jubilation. It just feels...anticlimactic. Nothing has been solved. But only time will tell I suppose. GAWD. Must study more!!!

It's College, What can I say?

Today was fun. Made me realize that even though my grades are awful and my life is an unplanned mess, I still have so much to be thankful for. Met a few old friends again and I went to a few people's ring ceremonies??? Kinda, and then went to a friend's house to eat pizza and watch Harry Potter with their parents. Just good clean fun.

Then I came home and had margaritas with tequila while dancing a little to bad music while the roommates did whatever. Highlight of the night was that my homophobic roommate was hopped up on Ambien and was all sorts of sloppy. It was hilarious. He then proceeded to tell me he was a different person on Ambien. For example, he told me he likes to have sex with dudes. Weird? Very. Hilarious? Pretty much. He likes to say weird things all the time of varying topics but it's just funny since he's so homophobic. He did say it with a straight face...kinda...hmmm...haha. He did say he'll remember all this in the morning though! Cheers to being sloppy, roomie!