Git 'er Done

       Just a small tangent, I'm starting this post at 4:20. Hahaha. Marijuana reference. But really though, I have exciting news since I just finished my graduate application! YES! Too bad I relapsed on the whole lent and extraneous internet including porn thing. I mean, I was going great for a week or two but really I just folded. I shouldn't have done it though, because I don't know what happened but immediately afterwards I just felt really lonely. I think I'm just in one of those moods again, although I've never gone back down to those awful times when I literally felt like I was going through psychological depression. Today was really lax since I came to class late but then had a long lunch with friends and then just went to another class which ended for the semester. Since that class has ended, it really feels as if this semester has started it's inevitable end going at a full throttle pace. At the same time, I still need to order my cap and gown, diploma frame, etc. Crazy huh? Too bad I'm bad with deadlines so I guess that won't be happening! Haha, my mom is gonna be pissed. In reality, in the past few weeks, I've really dealt with all of this in a nonchalant fashion because I am really ready to move on. A part of me is really tired of being an undergraduate now. Sure I have more school ahead of me, but I'm ready for that next chapter. In general, I'm ready to just grow up. It's a strange and kind of nice feeling. I'm very uncertain what I'll be doing in a year, but at the same time, I think I'll be alright. In other news, I have been vegetarian-ish for two days! Not including bacon bits on my salad or actually eating chicken that one time but I'm not going to nick pick details. I would like to try this thing out, but I'm insanely hungry all the time. Also, I've been doing some thinking and I really think I may be slowly inching toward that phase where I want to just get off with someone and then do my thing. I don't know, I'm not really thrilled about it but at the same time I do want to get out there. I think starting with a healthy relationship would be good at least. But really, I need to go to sleep. I have a class to go to that I honestly don't care about and will be tempted to sleep through. That dilemma will be saved for my future self.

-C.C.

A lack of endurance and Sixty More Days

       I took an unplanned unintentional hiatus from blogging everyday but found out how refreshing it was. I mean, it took more energy than I every thought to write out the thoughts and actions that I had throughout the day. I never noticed that. Spring Break was fun just being busy every day of the week with friends and spending money all the time. However, I realized too late how I was neglecting my parents since I don't see them enough as it is. It really did make myself disappointed in myself I'm not gonna lie.
      In other news, I have some resolutions that I hopefully can fulfill before I actually GRADUATE IN SIXTY DAYS. Hopefully I can write down everything I say and do in the next sixty days in order to really just make the most of the days I have left as an undergraduate in college. Being a senior is crazy. I have a bunch of stuff to do from now until then and so much I want to do. But really, I guess one thing that isn't so great is staying up till five a.m. being a college kid and doing nothing but hang with friends? Naw, you only live once. Also, I think I'm becoming more comfortable with the whole I wanna make out and do it with people thing right now. Mostly because that's all I want to do it seems. I'm a really late bloomer and I'm dealing with it. But really, I haven't finished my graduate application yet. Haha, oh my god...

-C.C.

Cousins

      Today started out a bit on the unproductive side since I slept until four in the morning and then jerked off three times in bed. I swear I just don't take care of myself. I mean, I didn't even eat or shower or anything for the longest time today. I'm pretty disgusting, but really when I let myself go on breaks, I just totally let hit the sh*t hit the fan. In other news, I've really been enjoying making plans trying to spend enough time with the cousins while we still have time together. This meant spending a small sleepover together to foster cousin togetherness and really just spend some time with the cousin Max who is going to become a nun. Really, it's been relatively easy for me to deal with, but I just realized how hard it has been for her immediate family. I mean, her little brother who is almost twenty now actually would cry every time they had serious talks about her going into the convent and everything. I didn't even realize. It's crazy, yet she is actually happy and serene about the whole thing. Hmm, interesting to think about I guess. But really all we did was just laugh and talk and then turn in after a few hours. Really I think we didn't have that much to talk about after one of us went to sleep I guess. But really that was the point right? I guess. But really this whole week is really is dedicated to spending time with family and friends and just trying to catch up with my life. But really, I just care about my family a bunch and I'm really glad to have them around. And with this marginally related video, that's the note I'll end on.

-C.C.

It's Spring Break!

Being Spring Break and all, things have gone a little down hill. I got super excited that I now had time to catch up on all the things I've ever neglected like planning for graduation and stuff but then I unfortunately started bumming around on the internet till four in the morning letting me get nothing done. There is so much to do so I'll just go do it. In other news, I've been really dreamy as of late. Sometimes, I listen to this song, Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show and imagine myself dancing to somebody I love and it feels like the best thing in the world. In general I adore this song, granted the music video is really just not as poignant as I would like it to be...Just something about it tells a beautiful story or maybe because I'm just a Texas boy, born and raised and I believe Country can actually be a beautiful musical medium?

-C.C.