I really don't feel well. I've had to deal with such a crazy amount of work in such a short amount of time and it shows. If it weren't for the five cups of coffee I had to down I would be in a very bad place. I actually crashed on the bedroom floor for a few minutes I was so tired. This terrible undertaking is called physical chemistry and today I got extremely lucky. I was so overloaded I didn't have time to study until the night of the test yet I happened to center right on the questions that were on the test. Absolutely astounding. Well, almost, at least I won't make a thirty. I think. Who knows. This whole week has been a terrible blur of stress and work. This is just too much. I'll be very surprised if I don't get a stomach ulcer from stress. It's all over now though, so time to celebrate! I have such a great weekend planned of doing a glow in the dark 5k, going to an animal shelter on Saturday and then a Passion Pit concert, then doing some organization workday stuff on Sunday. It's just going to be a blur of fun activity that I will be so excited to be a part of.
In other news, my organization did a "Guess Who's Gay" panel today. It was just really enjoyable since I actually got to talk to and hear other GLBT people talk. They were normal for the most part and one guy was all scruffy, straight and cute. It really did me good to go to that meeting. After the meeting, I spent more time with my freshman that I've been mentoring/hanging out with and well, I've never expected that we would see each other almost every single day. It's rather crazy. I can't even explain it. I think we may need some space but in some respects it's pretty cool I guess. What I did find out was that this whole entire time she was actually a lesbian. Wow. That was really amazing. I couldn't believe it for a little bit, but for her to simply come out and say it to me all of a sudden was just mind-boggling. I later revealed that I was bisexual to her and she was actually pretty surprised too. I even told her about a cute guy we knew just to reassert the fact. However, I got the feeling she needed to digest that information a bit more. I don't know but for some reason she seemed uncomfortable learning that. Odd. She told me that today was "interesting". Wut? But looking back on it, today was "interesting" for me too. So I guess I'll leave it at that for now.
-C.C.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Floundering and Flailing
That is how I feel. It's kind of terrible. I've been so tired and busy lately I haven't been able to make time for very much really, including taking a few minutes to blog. Life just sneaks up on you and then before you know it you're underwater. I guess a few highlights that happened since the last time were that I found out that I'm going to be an uncle! Truthfully this isn't really such a big deal since I already am an uncle to a bunch of other kids, but this time I have a niece/nephew that's actually going to be born in the States this time! I can actually be in their lives and grow up with them! I'm so excited! This is tempered with the news that my cousin Max is going to a convent to become a nun. She has really become one of my favorite cousins with whom I've really enjoyed her company. She is just so congenial and such a stand up person yet she's making this crazy and monumental choice to become a nun. It's just mind boggling. However, it's what she wants to do right? I'll just miss her when she's gone.
Meanwhile back in my life, I literally am a bit terrified. I have so much to do. I just can't believe how ridiculous it is. I haven't even studied for my tests yet. It's really stressful. The thing is, this semester is vital to restoring my chances to medical school and these classes really aren't helping. I am just a bit upset at myself for choosing these classes and such but really I hope everything will turn out all right. The most upsetting thing lately is that I've been even worse at managing my time these days. I don't even have a heavy class load really. I mean, I have very difficult classes but I'm taking ten hours of schoolwork. How in the world can I even hope to tackle med school? What am I thinking? Anyway, on the plus side I've been working out more often and I feel better about myself. More attractive perhaps? I suppose. I've recently come upon the realization that even though I love watching all those storylines on television about this gay who comes out and starts dating guys, etc, I think I'm kind of tired of it now. I want to start my own story now. I want to be the one to go out and meet someone and maybe fall for somebody. SOMETHING. I don't go down into the dumps like I used to. I know I'll find somebody. But god am I just so horny sometimes. Also, I've been fostering a crush on this one guy. Pete is his name and he's just so nice and laid back and attractive. He's pretty straight and all so I have to go through this process of getting over a crush again. Truthfully I really like him so being friends with him would be great. This whole thing will go away in time. I hate crushing on straight guys. It's useless and nothing happens, but I guess a guy can fantasize every so often and get away with it.
-C.C.
Meanwhile back in my life, I literally am a bit terrified. I have so much to do. I just can't believe how ridiculous it is. I haven't even studied for my tests yet. It's really stressful. The thing is, this semester is vital to restoring my chances to medical school and these classes really aren't helping. I am just a bit upset at myself for choosing these classes and such but really I hope everything will turn out all right. The most upsetting thing lately is that I've been even worse at managing my time these days. I don't even have a heavy class load really. I mean, I have very difficult classes but I'm taking ten hours of schoolwork. How in the world can I even hope to tackle med school? What am I thinking? Anyway, on the plus side I've been working out more often and I feel better about myself. More attractive perhaps? I suppose. I've recently come upon the realization that even though I love watching all those storylines on television about this gay who comes out and starts dating guys, etc, I think I'm kind of tired of it now. I want to start my own story now. I want to be the one to go out and meet someone and maybe fall for somebody. SOMETHING. I don't go down into the dumps like I used to. I know I'll find somebody. But god am I just so horny sometimes. Also, I've been fostering a crush on this one guy. Pete is his name and he's just so nice and laid back and attractive. He's pretty straight and all so I have to go through this process of getting over a crush again. Truthfully I really like him so being friends with him would be great. This whole thing will go away in time. I hate crushing on straight guys. It's useless and nothing happens, but I guess a guy can fantasize every so often and get away with it.
-C.C.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
It's Go Time
Things have been stressful considering all the stuff that I've been trying to accomplish. Mostly trying to get my graduate application in, tackling a test, a written test, and a lab report all in one week. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. What in the world? Today was kind of difficult since I was late to class and missed another one which left me in a sort of peeved mood. I also forgot to bring my phone to school which meant I didn't have lunch with Mick today. I'm glad that he remembered though since I saw the text he left me. I just think it was an awful idea to stay up until six in the morning trying to get my stuff in order. What did I just do? I'm too tired to think but then I have to do one hundred sit ups before I go to sleep. Ugh. On another note, I saw my old crush at the gym today. We worked out next to each other on multiple occasions but I really didn't want to bother saying hello. Thought it would be awkward for both of us. I wonder if he saw me? I was a bit upset I kept thinking if he saw me and obsessed over seeing him. Still immature as always it seems.
-C.C.
-C.C.
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