Whoops, messed up again. I just can't wake up past eleven thirty. I go to sleep at eleven and toss and turn for HOURS. Ugh. This is a real problem. I need to get that under control. What is good though is that things are kinda looking up for future endeavors. I'm slightly enthused.
Anyways, I had dinner with my old friend Lissa a little while ago. I really have to say she's really on the neurotic side, but I guess I am the perfect friend for her because whatever she says it's always diffused with laughter. Sometimes her neurotic comments sometimes made me uncomfortable, but it's a strange but fun combination. I guess she's one of those invaluable and interesting people you'd want to keep in your life. She had even more drama in her life but she also had some amazing stories of going to a bunch of strip clubs on New Year's and having a bunch of drunken debacles happen to her. Our conversations are always interrupted by bouts of laughter, so I'm interested to see where we will be a few years from now.
Beyond that I have to keep reminding myself to keep up enthusiasm for the new year. YESSSSSSS. ALLL CAAAPPPSS FOR EXTRA EMPHASSSIIISSSS. But in all seriousness I'm a bit ready to end the day.
-C.C.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
That Shit Cray
I really just love that saying. I'd squeeze it into more of my daily speech if I could. Really. Anyway, today was a little bit of a letdown just because I went to bed so early and everything and then I tossed and turned until four in the morning. Resetting your sleep schedule is just a nightmare. Haha....yeah, being punny. So I wake up at one in the afternoon and then I get to work at three. Afterwards I'm supposed to meet my old friend who I came out to recently, let's call her Lissa, at a Mediterranean place and she cancels because she's way too sleepy at seven p.m. because of her awful sleep schedule. Wat. I was pretty understanding since I have the same problem sometimes but seriously, that's a load of bull. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite but we were supposed to meet up at 8 p.m. She knew it too though and apologized. I was disappointed but we rescheduled and it's all in the past now. Not too much got done again today but all that work in the gym surprised me a little. My stomach got a little flatter. Awesome! At least the work I'm doing has some tangible results now.
Outside of that, I keep on fantasizing about shacking up with Red. I don't know if I'm just that horny or it's because he's a moderately successful person and I somehow want to be close to that success, not him. Either way I keep on flashing back to the time he talked dirty to me and to be honest that was hot regardless of what I thought of him. Anyway, it's almost time for school to start again...in approximately a week and a few days from now. Wat. I don't understand. AND I have awful classes right before I graduate. My major WOULD stick it up my butt, in a bad way, right before I graduate. Really.
In other news, this new year, I've decided to really try to slowly or not so slowly get out of my comfort zone to meet a guy. I don't really know what that entails. I mean, I wanted to check out the LGBT group on campus and then I don't know...put a picture up on Grindr?? Um....talk to more gay/bi guys like me? Take the initiative more? I might be completely gay and maybe I am having a hard time facing the fact that I'll never have the traditional heterosexual family unit I've always wanted. Huh, oh well, enough of that for the night.
-C.C.
Outside of that, I keep on fantasizing about shacking up with Red. I don't know if I'm just that horny or it's because he's a moderately successful person and I somehow want to be close to that success, not him. Either way I keep on flashing back to the time he talked dirty to me and to be honest that was hot regardless of what I thought of him. Anyway, it's almost time for school to start again...in approximately a week and a few days from now. Wat. I don't understand. AND I have awful classes right before I graduate. My major WOULD stick it up my butt, in a bad way, right before I graduate. Really.
In other news, this new year, I've decided to really try to slowly or not so slowly get out of my comfort zone to meet a guy. I don't really know what that entails. I mean, I wanted to check out the LGBT group on campus and then I don't know...put a picture up on Grindr?? Um....talk to more gay/bi guys like me? Take the initiative more? I might be completely gay and maybe I am having a hard time facing the fact that I'll never have the traditional heterosexual family unit I've always wanted. Huh, oh well, enough of that for the night.
-C.C.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A thought or two...
Today was still pretty unproductive. I just can't go to sleep at night so I wake up at noon and just make life a little less pleasant for my parents who think I'm a night owl bum with an internet addiction. Whooooops. I mean, I really need to work on grad school applications but at least I have the recommendation part taken care of. I THINK I'm having a productive winter break...but I want it to be better for sure. I guess I just have a nagging feeling I'm not doing what I could be doing in terms of living out my life. I've always had this rush to try and live out life to the fullest. Every moment has to be fulfilling in a way. I don't know, it's a very taxing way of thinking.
Anyway, I went to help at my parent's office and did learn a little bit and then went to the gym where I spent two and a half hours there. A little extreme on my part. I kind of didn't want to go home and I also wanted to tire myself out so I can sleep earlier. I thought that was a little concerning but it all might just be in my head. Also, I've recently realized that I REALLY cannot spend too much time living with my parents anymore. It's just that at first I thought being a bum mooching off my parents wouldn't be the WORST thing to happen to me but now that I've stayed here two weeks and a half I can't live here permanently that's for sure. My parents do help me keep motivated and on track of my priorities which is something I had waaaaay too much trouble with living on my own. So I guess it all works out. Also, how the hell am I going to find a boyfriend/girlfriend while living with the parents??? Ugh. I don't even get any action when I'm on my own in my own element. Oh well, FOREVER ALONE. Good night.
-C.C.
Anyway, I went to help at my parent's office and did learn a little bit and then went to the gym where I spent two and a half hours there. A little extreme on my part. I kind of didn't want to go home and I also wanted to tire myself out so I can sleep earlier. I thought that was a little concerning but it all might just be in my head. Also, I've recently realized that I REALLY cannot spend too much time living with my parents anymore. It's just that at first I thought being a bum mooching off my parents wouldn't be the WORST thing to happen to me but now that I've stayed here two weeks and a half I can't live here permanently that's for sure. My parents do help me keep motivated and on track of my priorities which is something I had waaaaay too much trouble with living on my own. So I guess it all works out. Also, how the hell am I going to find a boyfriend/girlfriend while living with the parents??? Ugh. I don't even get any action when I'm on my own in my own element. Oh well, FOREVER ALONE. Good night.
-C.C.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Absolutely Nothing
That's what I did today. I mean, I woke up at two p.m. and then sat on my hands until five p.m. thinking if I should be productive or not. I'm not kidding. I take long amounts of time doing nothing trying to think up if I should do something. Kinda weird. Anyway, I went to the gym and then visited an old friend and we talked about futures and just graduating. I peeved my parents by being a bum today but that's okay because I'll do better tomorrow hopefully? Also, I REALLY want a six pack. Just can't seem to get any closer though....
Good night.
-C.C.
Good night.
-C.C.
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